| Lines of amusement A
woman has twins and gives them both up for adoption. One
of them goes to Years
later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth
mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband
that she wishes she also had a picture of Amal. Her
husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen
Juan, you've seen Amal." These
friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they
opened up a small florist shop to raise funds. Since
everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a
rival florist across town thought the competition was
unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they
would not. He went back and begged the friars to close.
They ignored him. So, the rival florist hired Hugh
MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to
"persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the
friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if
they didn't close up shop. Terrified, they did so,
thereby proving that: Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent
florist friars. A
conference is a gathering of important people who singly
can do nothing, but together can decide that nothing can
be done. Dem
Bones, dem bones
It
has been said that the body of any organisation is made
up of four types of bones…. There
are the Wishbones – who spend their time wishing
someone else would do something about the problem under
discussion…. There
are the Jawbones – who spend their time talking
about the problem. There
are the Knucklebones – who spend their time knocking
everything that everyone has already done or would like
to do. Finally,
there are the Backbones who quietly come along, get under
the load, and carry it! Which
type of bone are you? Says
it all
A
man was driving to work when a lorry ran a stop sign, hit
his car broadside, and knocked him out cold. Passers-by
pulled him from the wreck and revived him. He began
a terrific struggle and had to be tranquillised by the
medics. Later, when he was calm, they asked him why he
struggled so. He
said, "I remember the impact, then nothing. I woke
up on a concrete slab in front of a huge, flashing
‘Shell' sign. And somebody was standing in front of
the ‘S.'" The
sole purpose of a child's full name is so he can tell
when he's really in trouble. If
you throw a cat out of the car window, does it become
kitty litter? What
do people in China call their good plates? Have
you ever imagined a world without hypothetical
situations?
If
they squeeze olives to get olive oil, how do they get
baby oil? Never
buy a car you can't push.
|