To our Musical Directors - with apologies to the Book of Common Prayer

A Chorister’s Confession

Almighty and most merciful conductor
we have erred and strayed from thy beat like lost sheep
we have followed too much the intonations and tempi of our own hearts
we have offended against thy dynamic markings
we have left unsung those notes which we ought to have sung,
we have sung those notes which we ought not to have sung:
and there is no support in us.
But thou, O Conductor, have mercy upon us miserable singers:
succour the chorally challenged:
restore thou them that need extra note bashing:
spare thou them that are without pencil:
pardon our mistakes and have faith in the hereafter
we will follow thy direction and sing together in perfect harmony.

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