Smile
Lines Camels In
Jane’s Christmas drawing, two of the camels were
approaching the inn, over which was pictured a large star.
The third camel and its rider were going directly away
from it. “Why is the third man going in a different
direction?” her mother asked. Jane replied: “Oh,
he’s looking for a place to park.” Father
Christmas Of
course, I had expected that by the age of seven it was
inevitable for my son to begin to have serious thoughts
about Father Christmas. Sure enough, one day he said,
"Mum, I know something about Father Christmas, the
Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy." Taking
a deep breath, I asked him, "And what is that?"
He replied, "They're all nocturnal.” Snowmen Two
snowmen were standing next to each other. One said to the
other: "Can you smell carrots?" Christmas
Carols One
night Freda went carol singing. She knocked on the door
of a house and began to sing. A man with a violin in his
hand came to the door. Within half a minute tears were
streaming down his face! Freda went on singing for half
an hour, every carol she knew - and some she didn't. As
last she stopped. The man had continued to weep gently
throughout her performance. “I understand,” she
said softly. “You are remembering your happy
childhood Christmas days. You're a sentimentalist!” Hymns
for the road If
you MUST speed on the road during this Christmas season,
at least sing these hymns loudly as you go: New
bank Mother
decided that ten- year old Cathy should get something
‘practical’ for Christmas. “Suppose we
open a savings account for you?” she suggested.
Cathy was delighted. “It’s your account,
darling,” mother said as they arrived at the bank,
“so you fill out the application.” Cathy was
doing fine until she came to the space for ‘Name of
your former bank.’ After a slight hesitation, she
put down ‘Piggy’. Easy
come, easy go Father
Christmas enters through a hole in the chimney and leaves
through a hole in your pocket. Silence? Christmas
is the season when your neighbour’s radio keeps you
awake playing ‘Silent Night’. 5
Practical Tricks to Play on Father Christmas 1.
Instead of milk and cookies, leave him a salad and a note
explaining that you think he could stand to lose a few
pounds. Angel
tidings The
little boy was to be an angel in the Christmas play and
his one line was: “Behold, I bring you good tidings.”
He asked what tidings were and his mother explained that
the word meant news. On
the night of the play, the youngster had stage fright
and, after a long silence, blurted out: “Hey, have I
got news for you!” |