Brian Neaves died at the Heart of Kent Hospice on 25^th November just short of his 72^nd birthday after a lifetime of service to our parish. Brian became a chorister and then Head Boy of All Saints Choir. He became an electrician and was full of great practical skills and these were in constant demand - on call from a young man onwards.

When he married Mollie they lived in a flat in St Philip’s Vicarage and helped with young people’s work in the parish. For many years they ran the All Saints choir club and helped with the choir holidays. Brian oversaw the Parish Minibus and did much of the driving. For over thirteen years Brian was Organist and Choirmaster at St Philip’s.

After he retired from work, Brian helped both our church schools with playing the piano and in many other ways. Brian served for several years as a Deputy Churchwarden and then as Churchwarden. I am sure that I speak for all the clergy of the parish over the years when I say how grateful I am for all Brian’s practical skills and his very wise advice both of which he gave so freely.

Quite besides all Brian did he was generous in his time and friendship with a sense of humour and proportion so very much appreciated. I am aware of how inadequate these few words are in doing justice to someone so appreciated by all whom knew him and who gave such service to this parish.

Christopher Morgan - Jones

There follows a transcript of the Address given by The Revd. Canon Brian Barnes at the Service of Thanksgiving for the life of Brian Neaves held in All Saints church on the 9^th December 2005

In the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit, Amen.

At the outset I would like to express my thanks to Mollie and the Boys for asking me to speak this afternoon and to Chris for allowing me to do so.

“My dear people, let us love one another” words from the first letter of John which Peter read to us a few moments ago.  Many of you will recognise it as one of the readings we have on Christmas morning following on from the great celebration of the birth of the Christ child; we are rapidly brought to the realization of what God has done for us and what we must do in return.  Put simply, he loved us so much he gave us his only son and we need to show that love to one another.

With rugger players in the congregation we need to be careful when we mention the word ‘love’ and we need to remember the words of St Paul, love is not just an easy option, it is not just ‘a many splendored thing’ as the song says, it is a many faceted emotion and it is human.

It is against that background that I want to give you two phrases: the first refers to the telephone and the message is simple: “Brian – it’s the other Brian.”  The second phrase is somewhat louder and more urgent: “The minibus leaves in ten minutes!”

So, “Brian, - it’s the other Brian”, the other Brian who was all about people and the interaction between them.  That all started for Brian when he was born on the 3^rd December 1933 in Maidstone, one of three children.  He met a young lady called Mollie about 55 years ago (we think) when he was playing the piano at the age of 16, for the Sunday School.

Brian passed his examinations for the Grammar School but chose to go to Maidstone Tech and many of you will know he went on to become an electrician serving on the Electricity Board for many years.  He served his country in the RAF and he started courting that young lady called Mollie 49 years ago.  They were married here in this grand old building in 1962.  In 1968 the future of the choir here at All Saints, Maidstone, started to be assured.  In 1968 Shaun appeared followed by Wayne in 1970 and Kieron in 1972.  Each time Brian was hoping for a girl but obviously the future need of the choir was paramount!  The situation was somewhat redressed with the appearance of Rebecca his granddaughter who he idolized.

Let me leave Brian the people’s person for a moment but I shall return to him in due course.

“The minibus leaves in ten minutes” was Brian’s clarion call whenever he was driving the minibus and especially at choir camps.  The amount of work Brian did for his Church, his community and his God was immense.

It was most appropriate that it should start as a choirboy and he would tell the most wonderful stories of how the choirboys (some of them here today I understand) would wager their wedding pay (1/=) on walking around the parapet of the Church Tower – health and safety – child protection – eat your heart out!

We have already heard how he played the piano from a very tender age and how right it is that we are to recognise that today.  He was a self taught organist and when I was at St Philip’s he saved my bacon by playing the organ and taking on the choir – and how the ladies loved him – ‘come on ladies!!’

He was always there to pick up the pieces quite literally at times.  Sidesman, Churchwarden, general factotum and always ready to respond.  Perhaps this is best illustrated by the story involving Neil Nye, one time Vicar of this Parish and Archdeacon of Maidstone, ‘Flash’ as he was affectionately known because he wanted things done instantly and in a flash.  Whose front door was he knocking on at all times of the day and night to get the job done – no prizes for guessing it was Brian’s.

His work with children was endless.  He partnered Clive Porter to run the first Quest Group here and some of those ‘youngsters’ now in their late 30’s are still in contact with each other.

He and Mollie spent hours on the choir, choir camp, and choir club.  Mollie as Wardrobe Mistress, etc. and Brian – well just being Brian really..  We cannot leave children’s work without reference to our church schools, Brian’s great love for them and the children’s love of ‘Mr Neaves’.

But I need to return to Brian, the other one on the telephone.  Much of what we know about Brian in the Parish was born out of his love for Mollie and the boys, a love that was robust and full as describe by St Paul.  I have shared some of those memories with the family, and indeed with my own boys, and they tell us so much about that man we knew and loved.

-                     His love of ‘Last Night of The Proms’

-                     His hate of football – how he would watch the cup final until the singing of ‘Abide with Me’ had finished and then leave

-                     His ability to take things apart with his electric screwdriver – putting them back together was more problematical

-                     His sense of humour

-                     The singing of rounds and canons in the car as a family until the boys realised why – no radio in the car!

-                     Brian insisted he did not like chocolate only for his little caches to be found all   about the house

-                     His hate of beach and anything sandy

-                     His love of venison sausages

-                     His ability to be able to purloin any pen in the house

-                     His ability to cook wonderful Sunday lunches

To these you must add your own which must be legion.

For me the story of Mollie and Brian is a story of cardboard boxes.  Whether it be choir camp, holidays, events of any type, Mollie packs everything into cardboard boxes.  Brian would be packing the car and the boxes would continue to appear.  When he thought he had packed the last one he would turn around and see two more.  “Mollie!” would come the exasperated cry but the boxes would all be packed in.

Mollie said to me – he gave me flowers every week – even when things were tight there would always be flowers.

‘My dear people, let us love one another’.  God’s love for Brian was shown to us in the way he worked for his church and community.  We may not receive another telephone call, but because of him we will know how to respond to others.  We may not hear “the minibus leaves in 10 minutes” but we will know there is work to be done and that is the example Brian has left for us.

His life was full, vital and in the love and service of others; may he rest in peace and rise in glory.

In the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit

Amen.

Brian Barnes

A Good School Friend

Having just attended the wonderful service of celebration for the life of Brian Neaves, I felt that I wanted to pay an extra tribute to Brian on behalf of the late St. Stephen’s C.E. Infant School in Tovil.  Perhaps some of you know that Brian was a regular piano player for us on Wednesday mornings throughout the year. This enabled us to learn a wide variety of songs for the special occasions such as Mother’s Day, Harvest, Easter, Christmas, Infant School Concerts, Lunchtime Concerts etc. as well as just enjoying singing and making music throughout the year. 

Now it would be enough just to record our tribute to him for this service of love alone but …..  Brian’s friendship with the school didn’t stop there.  Brian also joined us on school holiday weekends to France, Lydd, Ashburnham and Herne Bay sometimes as a day visitor and often staying with us. These events in particular put Brian in the role of additional Uncle or granddad to so many children. To see the joy on their faces when they greeted him was certain testament to this. What a wonderful example and role model he was to so many children, many as we know, who have no stable male role model in their lives. True he would stay on the promenade while we were on the beach, but would always be there to help dish out the ice creams!  He may have had to work hard at the toilet stops (being in the male minority!) but I think it was more than made up for when you saw him at the end of the day sitting reading bedtime stories to a little boy or girl. As staff, we too sadly miss Brian from what we have called the St. Stephen’s Family.  This time last year Brian had just come out of hospital on the day of our Christmas dinner evening, and we were delighted that he felt able to come and join us – we missed him and Mollie this year.

Sue Allen and the St. Stephen’s Family

December 2005

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