Fun Lines Life
After Death “Do
you believe in life after death” the boss asked one
of his employees. “Yes Sir,” the new employee
replied. “Well then, that makes everything just
fine,” the boss went on. “After you left early
yesterday to go to your grandmother’s funeral, she
stopped in to see you! Palm
Sunday It was
Palm Sunday and, because of a sore throat five year old
Johnny stayed home from church with a sister. When the
family returned home, they were carrying several Palm
branches. The boy asked what they were for. “People
held them over Jesus’ head as he walked by.”
“Wouldn’t you know it,” the boy fumed,
“The one Sunday I don’t go, he shows up!” Children’s
Sermon One
Easter Sunday morn9ng as the minister was preaching the
Children’s Sermon, he reached into his bag of props
and pulled out an egg. He pointed at the egg and asked
the children, “What’s in here?” “I
know!” a little boy exclaimed. “Pantyhose!” Support
a family The
prospective father-in-law asked, “Young man, can you
support a family?” The surprised groom-to-be
replied, “Well no. I was just planning to support
your daughter. The rest of you will have to fend for
yourselves.” Grandma’s
age Little
Johnny asked his grandma how old she was. Grandma
answered, “thirty-nine and holding.” Johnny
thought for a moment, and then said, “And how old
would you be if you let go?” First
time ushers A
little boy I church for the first time watched as the
ushers passed around the offering plates. When they came
near his pew, the boy said loudly, “Don’t pay
for me daddy I’m under five.” Prayers The
Sunday school teacher asked “Now Johnny, tell me, so
you say prayers before eating?” “No sir,”
he replied, “We don’t have to. My mum is a good
cook!” Climb
the walls “Oh,
I am so happy to see you,” the little boy said to
his grandmother on his mother’s side. “Now
perhaps daddy will do the trick he has been promising us.”
The grandmother was curious. “What trick is that?”
she asked. “I heard him tell mummy that he would
climb the walls if you came to visit” the little boy
answered. The
water pistol When
my three year old son opened the birthday gift from his
grandmother he discovered a water pistol. He squealed
with delight and headed for the nearest sink. I was not
so pleased. I turned to mum and said, “I’m
surprised at you. Don’t you remember how we used to
drive you crazy with water guns?” Mum smiled and
then replied “I remember.” (Isn’t revenge
sweet!). |