GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT LIFE,
THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:
1)
No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
2) When your
Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
3) If your
sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch
the second person.
4) Never ask
your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
5) You can't
trust dogs to watch your food.
6) Don't
sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
7) Never hold
a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
8) You can't
hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
9) Don't wear
polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
10) The best place to be
when you're sad is Grandma's lap.
GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT LIFE THAT
ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:
1)
Raising teenagers is like nailing Jelly to a tree.
2) Wrinkles
don't hurt.
3) Families
are like fudge . . .mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
4) Today's
mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
5) Laughing is
good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
6) Middle age
is when you choose your cereal for the fibre, not the
toy.
GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING
OLD
1)
Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
2) Forget the
health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
3) When you
fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're
down
there.
4) You're
getting old when you get the same sensation from a
rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
5) It's
frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody
bothers to ask
the questions.
6) Time may be
a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
7) Wisdom
comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.
THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:
1)
You believe in Santa Claus.
2) You don't
believe in Santa Claus.
3) You are
Santa Claus.
4) You look
like Santa Claus.
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